Nesting in the Time of COVID

Over the last couple of months I have bought myself (and then put together) a new desk, changed the deadbolt on our front door, installed new smoke detectors, assembled new nightstands and dressers for both kids, cleaned out my closet (like, completely), replaced our kitchen garbage can, and taken several large loads of things to Goodwill. Apparently this is how I deal with anxiety.

A few months ago, I noticed I was having trouble sitting still to do things like read a book or write, things that I used to enjoy very much. I guess this is what happens when you’ve been stuck in your house for a year because of a global pandemic. While I am constantly plagued by the low-level anxiety of the middle-aged white suburban parent, this year that level of constant anxiety has steadily risen until I’ve gotten here, the place where sitting down and relaxing is no longer possible. I have to be up and doing things, I have to be keeping myself busy, and doing things with my hands helps distract me and keep me from overflowing.

My husband and I were both able to get our first doses of the vaccine last week and I’ve noticed myself slowing down a little. I only took one load to Goodwill last weekend. I still haven’t put the prints we bought for the kitchen into their frames and hung them. I finished reading a book. And this morning, I’m up writing a blog post, something I have been resisting doing for a while.

It feels nice to slow down. I’m hoping that as more and more people are able to get their vaccines and infection rates start to go down again (they’ve plateaued in my state for now) my anxiety will start to decrease and I’ll be able to sit still more often and maybe even relax a little.